The Cullens Go Camping, For Real
by AndreaLion
Summary: The Cullens take Bella camping. Not to be confused with hunting. What will poor Bella do. Stuck with Alice, who thinks Bella is a Barbie Doll and Emmett, who always seems to take pranks way too far. What will happen in this memorable camping trip.
1. Prologue

Hey Guys this is gonna just be a story I add onto based on reviews so if I don't get reviews, or messages, it won't move along. I also want reviews telling me what I do wrong ( I know, I know, I use WAY too many commas.) I even take flames, with open arms. Also I'm in search of a co-writer for this story or to start a new one, PM me.

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I just took em camping, ( If you are a Twilight Fan Fic aficionado you'll know where the last line came form came from)

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**BPOV**

"You're sure you want to go camping?' Charlie asked. I didn't want to go camping. Bugs all over my things, and all the itchy bug bites. Funny how I was scared of bug bites and not Vampire bites. Also having to sleep on the uneven ground. And the worst part, having to got to the bathroom... in the woods. I'd never go to sleep in the woods on my own free will, but it was a three day weekend and Edward wanted to do something that I'd never done before. Unfortunately, camping was that thing. I could already see the times I would trip and fall, and suffer Emmett's teasing. All the Cullens were going. Even Rosalie. Great. The only reason I was going was I would be able to spend time with Edward.

"Yeah Dad, I'm sure. You can stop asking me" I answered for the millionth time. My dad didn't want me to go because of Edward, but it had been Alice who had posed the question, and Charlie would do anything for Alice. It was Friday and school had just ended, I was finishing up on packing. Alice would be picking me up at four to take me over to the Cullen house.

I was just about done, I was putting my toiletry bag in my luggage, when Charlie called up to say Alice was here.

"Coming," I called down. I grabbed my backpack and my small duffel bag, and was ready to go. I met Alice at the bottom of the stairs, "Hey Bella," Alice said as she peeked into my bags, her face turning into one of disbelieve. "That's what your taking?".

"Alice, I knew you were going to say that! May I remind you that we're going camping, not to a fashion show. And also," I lowered my voice so Charlie wouldn't hear, " I'm human, and it's cold, and there are bugs, and... and..." I finished in exasperation. Alice looked hurt, witch quickly turned into anger.

"Gosh Bella, I forgot that humans ," she added sarcastically, " I just meant to say that maybe it would be a good idea to not look like an oversized Caterpillar!" I couldn't help but to be a little frightened.

"Sorry Alice, It's just I'm just not an out-doorsey person, as you may have noticed, I–" Alice finished my sentence for me, "trip over air"

Alice smiled at me, and grabbed me into a hug, "It's okay Bella, I know your not excited to go camping with us"

"Being with you guys is great, but camping, well... not so great.

"Don't worry, Edward and I will make sure you have fun, you'll see" Alice said almost threateningly. "We should go we don't want to be late," Alice grabbed my hand and yelled out goodbye to Charlie. "By girls, have fun".

As we were walking to the car, I thought I heard Alice say "Oh, trust me, we will"

What have I gotten myself into.

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Remember to review or this story won't move along. I'm not gonna care how many I get as long as I get one message telling what you'd like to happen. Also I'm in search of a co-writer for this story or to start a new one, PM me.


	2. Camping Rules

Okay, so heres the update I got a CO AUTHOR! Im so happy, its what I've always wanted. She's REALLY good. So lets hear a round of applause to....drum roll please.....Sofia998! So it may sound a little different from the prologue but its for the best. So read on my friends. Oh and also I plan to put out the next chapter out next week but who knows maybe ill be kidnapped, or maybe i'll find myself a new VAPIRE BOOYFRIEND....or not, but whatever you should still put me on your story alert list oh and also a happy author makes a happy story so REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-REVIEW-

DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN THIS! In case you didn't notice.

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I swung open the car door quickly in a hopeless attempt to get out, but of course I ended up stumbling and falling as soon as my foot touched the perfectly stable, flat surface of the Cullen's driveway. And of course with my luck, Emmett stood less than three feet away having just witnessed the whole ordeal, bringing up a typical blush as his laughter boomed around the Cullen estate. Edward had been standing near Emmett and was racing to help me up, though it was done with a smile placed on his lips as if holding back a laugh-I glared at him. It wasn't fair. Whilst the Cullen's were blessed with the common vampiristic features of inhuman beauty and the grace of an antelope– I was the one who was just an ordinary member of the Forks community, with the lucky gift of being accident-prone. Thanks dad!

I stumbled numerous times walking up to the porch while Edward held onto me smiling and shaking his head. It was easy for him to laugh, he wouldn't be the one spending the entire trip constantly falling over tree roots or getting bitten by mosquitos. But in a short moment I forgot my anger towards him as he cautiously wrapped me into his arms burying his head into my hair, inhaling. Perfect, I forgot how much of an ego boost it was for someone to think you constantly smelt nice.

_Damn vampires! _

The second he released me the fear and nervousness of the coming trip was back in my mind. I saw Jasper flinch in the background, who now stood tensed behind Alice, poor Jasper I was probably giving him a major migraine. I saw Edward nod to him, probably having a silent conversation with Jasper.

"Excited about the camping trip, love?" Edward asked, his eyebrow raised into a perfect arch.

I would have honestly thought he was concerned about me as his voice dripped with smoothness and placidity but that was before I saw the big amused smile plastered on his face.

"Edward," I groaned, "this isn't funny at all. Why would you put me through this when you know I'm just going to fall flat on my face?" He chuckled at my small tantrum.

"Isabella Marie Swan, how can you you think I'd ever let that happen," he said with mock hurt, a faint smile playing at his lips, "I'm offended you'd think that". He laughed and pulled me into a kiss.

"Excuse me lovebirds," Alice interrupted her small figure standing behind us. I glared at her, probably a mirror image of Rosalie's face when she was looking at me. "Come on now Bella, you'll have plenty of time for that while we're camping." She said winking, "Unfortunately for me, I've already seen the proof".

Carlisle then emerged out of the Cullen house, with Esme in tow. He stood with a hand placed elegantly around Esme's shoulders as she grinned up at him. "Well, that _proof,"_ Carlisle said, his voice dripping with authority but with a hint humor, "Is exactly what I wanted to talk about". Alice groaned and I knew this would would probably ruin a lot of alone time with Edward. "I have some ground rules to set for you." Emmett groaned loudly. I immediately got anxious and I saw Jasper struggling to keep a hold on my mixed emotions, but in a matter of seconds I was completely relaxed...sleepy even. Maybe.... too... _yaaaaawwwnn... _sleepy.

"Take it down a notch, Jasper. I wanted you to calm her, not tranquilize her," Edward said lightly.

"No don't!" Emmett cried faintly from the distance. "I wanna see how a dizzy Bella walks," he added with a loud obnoxious laugh.

Jasper probably got it right this time, as I was finally calmed down.

"Emmett you-" I cut off Edward before he could finish, "Don't, Edward. Don't stoop to his level".

"Sorry, love, you're right," he said fastening his arms around my waist and towing me into the house.

When we all got settled Carlisle started talking. "As you all know we are going to leave in a few hours time, to go camping. Hopefully you all are ready," He said the last part looking at Alice. I could only imagine what she would be taking with her on the trip, "Now, I just wanted to set up a few rules. Not only will we be relatively close to the human camping grounds, but Bella will also be going, so we need to set up a few new rules to go by also," Rosalie rolled her eyes and gave me a threatening look before going back to painting her nails. "So last night I sat down with Edward and came up with a few things, so here they are," he said authoritatively, "and feel free to add anything we miss, Bella," he added.

I was extremely embarrassed at this point. Being human sucked.

"Okay, first on the list is that no pranks will be committed," he said this looking at Emmett. Emmett's face dropped into one of sadness, which Carlisle noticed and after a moment of hesitation, and added, "well, at least none to Bella". "Yes! Thank you, Carlisle," Emmet shouted. Emmett held out his fist to Carlisle. "What are you doing Emmett?" asked Carlisle. "It's called a fist-bump, you're supposed to bump it back with your fist. I saw some kids doing it at school the other day, it's like a high-five" explained Emmett.

Everyone laughed as Carlisle awkwardly bumped Emmett's fist, except Rosalie who was shooting daggers with her eyes at Emmett, and hit the back of Emmett's head when he sat down, even I could hear her telling Emmett off for what he did. Well, it's not like he didn't deserve it.

"Well, Moving on," Carlisle said, trying to get back on track, "We will give each other privacy," this was said looking at Alice, "and respect," he said this like he was talking to first graders.

"There will be no random attacks toward each other, especially you two" he said pointing at Emmett and Jasper.

"Oh, come on, your taking all the fun out of this trip," Emmett whined, "besides we don't _really_ hurt each other".

"Yes, but you _do_ ruin everything around you," Esme said pointing at the most recent injury to her furniture, a broken painting leaning against the wall.

"Fine, point taken" Emmett said in defeat.

"Okay, Next rule, be courteous towards others" he said towards Rosalie, who looked like she was a bout to have a fit so carlisle told her she could just get out of the way, and that she didn't have to be near anyone she didn't want to be near to. It was quite clear who that anyone was.

"Also, even though it would be nice to know that I don't need to state this rule, knowing you two," looking towards Emmett and Rosalie, "I feel the need to remind you, that you should keep your love life to the confines of _your _ tent".

Emmett laughed at my blush. Why was _I_ the one who got embarrassed.

"Also Bella I wanted to to tell you that there is a restroom near our campsite and whenever you need to go to the restroom, any one of us would be happy to accompany you," Carlisle said this in the most professional way possible. But, of course, Emmett found a way to make fun of me.

"Yeah, Bella, we wouldn't want you to be marking your territory in the woods, now, would we," Emmett let out a roaring laugh. Everyone was frowning at his bad taste in jokes. He finally stopped when Rosalie slapped him in the back of the head.

Mark my territory? Where did Emmett come up with this stuff?

Two hours later everything was packed and ready to go. We had most of our luggage on Emmett's Jeep, where Emmett and Rosalie would be riding up in. Alice had filled up the entire Jeep with just her wardrobe, so the rest of us were going in Edward's Volvo and Carlisle's Mercedes.

Alice and I sat together in the backseat of Edward's-luggage cramped-Volvo; she stared dejectedly outside the window, as the scenery smeared into an all-pervading shade of green, as usual we were probably going 50 mph over the speed limit. For the first time in thirty minutes she moved. A tiny movement as she concentrated on her perfect nails, in obvious denial of Carlisle's actions, Carlisle had made Alice leave three of her 15 luggage bags. That was when I couldn't take it any longer.

"Alice Cullen, I swear if you don't stop ignoring me now I will burn all your luggage." She glared at me with the most fury I have ever seen on her usually cheerful face. I would not be manipulated over this. "Alice, come on its only three suitcases! We're only going for three days!" I proclaimed. She didn't say anything, just focused her attention back to the road with a small "humph".

"Jasper, do something please?" I pleaded with him from the backseat. He diverted his attention to me, his golden eyes content with humor. He shook his head. I tried again, "Please? Can't you just calm her down or something?"

He sighed, "Sorry Bella, I wish I could, but she already said that I can't use my powers on her," He said apologetically. Edward then turned to look at him a hint of disbelief in his features.

"She's your wife Jazz, I'm sure that you could calm her down without powers?" He said grudgingly tired of listening to Alice complain in her thoughts. "What about what you always do to calm her when you can't use your powers," Edward added with a smile. Jasper shook his head, smiling communicating to Edward with what I knew wouldn't be exactly PG-13. "Why not? You two were at it all last night!" Edward said, humor filling his eyes. I giggled under my breath, Alice's head snapped up, looking from Jasper to Edward and back again.

"Ok, Ok, I'm over it!" She almost shouted in such desperation. It sent us all into a fit of hysterical laughter, when it was over I muttered, "Why, what're you trying to hide?" And then Alice Cullen, ALICE CULLEN, looked as though she would be blushing if it were possible. This pleased me, and soon after the atmosphere turned comfortable with us all laughing and joking along. The journey seemed to pass without faults and I noticed we were now far from town.

The conversation of the benefits of shopping came to an abrupt halt as Alice stared out into space, the same facial expression she wore whenever she was having a vision. I heard Edward growl, a low animalistic sound, it immediately set me on edge.

She sighed, "So much for built in radar detector," she said shaking her head. I looked at her inquisitively. She shook it off, but my curiosity didn't fade. Edward seemed to become more and more impatient as we neared the campsite.

"Edward? What's going on?" I said looking adamant. I wanted an answer and an answer I would get. Apparently I spoke to soon, there was a loud banging sound on the car door. Oh NO!

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OOOOH CLIFFIE! I guess you'll just have to read the next chapter to figure out what happens. *_Evil Laughter* _hopefully my evil plans makes you come back oh and REVIEW OR ELSE.

Oh and leave a review saying what you think is gonna happen, what was Alice's Vision. I should update this story with my co author by wednesday

Also I hope you have chance to check out my NEW poll "Who's Hotter" (VOTE JASPER!)


	3. Author UPDATE! Colliding Meteors News!

Okay, I currently can't write any updates for my story, because I'm currently working on writing the Spanish translation of "Colliding Meteors" by IdreamofEddy, it's my favorite Jasper/Bella story.

I will be working by chapter and will post every completed chapter I do. Make sure to check it out, its really well known and loved.

Make sure to check out the author of Colliding Meteors:

IdreamofEddy

For Colliding Meteors in:

English

Portuguese

Again, Im sorry, that I left ya hangin, I have such few readers, and the ones I do have, I cherish greatly so I hope you understand.


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